We dream of living on the river. One of our sources of contention is wanting to make this dream come true, but ultimately, that means giving up some other very important dreams we've had for our future. I've always wanted to return home. Since I was a young girl, I always believed I'd get there some day. I hoped I'd raise my own family there and that we wouldn't be another generation removed from our ancestral lands. I still hold onto this dream, but now I wonder, does it have a death grip on me? Does it actually have that much of a grip on me that I am unable to allow myself to adapt to this place which has actually been my home for most my life? I've grown my family here, and as much as I abhor the idea of raising my family here, I may not have much of a choice. Not with the way things seem to be going in this world.
I don't want to go home if home is being poisoned, destroyed, no community, nothing left. At one time I would have given my life to go home to defend it from the destruction. We actually tried. We ended up contributing more to the destruction than to the protection of the island, although we vowed that it would only be temporary. That was unbearable, but it wasn't the reason we ended up moving back.
I don't know what's going to happen. I know what I'd like, but I'm open to adventure...
